Over the past several weeks, much has been made in the national media about sexual assault and false accusations. Anyone who has been awake knows what the issues are regarding Brett Kavanaugh's Supreme Court nomination hearings and the circus that preceded it. We won't take time to review the details here. We think it is more important to discuss the very clear and present danger to a man's career and well-being in society when forced to defend himself against women claiming sexual misconduct at any point in his past.
The power of words
First, people need to understand that there is power in hints and allegations. Most people recognize and respect it. Many bad actors, however, recognize it and use it to their advantage.
Dr. Carrie Barron, M.D., writing in Psychology Today online magazine, notes that, "It is widely known that people with certain kinds of pathology are brilliant at looking like victims when they are actually perpetrators. They can ruin the life of an innocent person."
In my experience, words have power; to heal, to destroy, to even change lives. And when women choose to use sexual assault charges as a weapon, the legal courts, as well as the court of public opinion often choose to listen with both ears and see with both eyes, hoping and expecting to find a scintilla of evidence that the allegations are true.
Why do women do it?
First, let us be fair; the vast majority of people understand the power they wield in their words and do not throw baseless accusations out there. Those who do often have motives that are easy to recognize. For example, it has long been a common tactic for a woman fighting for custody to suddenly accuse her ex-husband of child abuse when it appears things might not go her way with the judge. In states like Alabama, where family laws judges may take marital misconduct into consideration when awarding spousal support, claiming sexual assault or abuse is a financial no-brainer. The woman has very little to lose by trying.
"Some people are brought into this life to build, others to tear down." Dr. Carrie Barron, Psychology Today
Other women, however, have darker reasons. Some may harbor anger for years after a tough break up, waiting for the moment when the man is in the spotlight. This appears to be the case with Brett Kavanaugh, after several decades. But according to Dr. Barron, some people who seem rational on the outside may suffer deep emotional fears and, "...a need to blame or malign for secondary gain: attention, fame, money, importance or drama. Maybe the person is not in touch with reality and is retaliating against an imagined transgression."
And that is the side of false accusations that needs to be revealed more clearly to the public. It is not enough to simply say that women wouldn't say it if it isn't true. For many women, the exact opposite may be the case. They are saying it simply BECAUSE it isn't true.
Check back here for further blogs about this important topic
Over the next several weeks, we will be examining false accusations of sexual assault and domestic abuse more in-depth, as we review some specific cases. We hope you will continue to check back into Protecting Men Facebook page to learn more about your rights.